"This is very important" post again...

 Very quickly, today we went to the Embassy and everyone went great.  We ate lunch and then have stayed in the hotel room all day.  Casey is sick, I'm hoping when we wake up she is feeling much better.  Pray with us!  Also for airport goers...Delta flight 3459, 5:30 p.m. Sat. afternoon, I am so excited.  Now on to something you need to read if you are going to be around us anytime soon...

It's time to address attachment!  I think I said it well in Dec. 2008 right before we brought Hudson home.  You can revisit it here
http://carneyadoption.blogspot.com/2008/12/very-important.html 

I know there are many new people following our blog and we are also at a new church so I want to be sure there are no gray areas here.  I know so many of you have watched and prayed for us constantly and are so excited to see Heath.  You will never know how much that means to us!  It just tenders my heart thinking about you!  So I don't want to hurt your feelings when we get home and you want to hold our son and I have to tell you no.

Attachment is a big deal with children who are a little older when adopted (and in domestic adoption).  You should google it!  With children who come from orphanages, they will go to anyone who will give them attention.  They have never had one on one care and will take provision from whoever will provide it.  This is why it is so important for Heath to be firmly attached to us before we allow others to start holding him and trying to meet his needs.  He has to learn that we are his parents.  That we provide him comfort, care, love, food, discipline, and just basically meet his needs in all the ways a parent does. 

Hudson had a great attachment and we were very strict with this.  I am so thankful we were.  The damages that can be done are not something I never want to experience.  Heath's attachment will be a little different since I have two other little ones at home who also need my attention.  Where with Hudson I just poured everything into him every waking second, now there are three that my attention will be divided between therefore I will be even more adamant about Heath's attachment.

However, at the airport on Saturday, we will fly in at 5:30 p.m.  Just like with Hudson, this will be our time with family and friends to get their hugs and kisses in.  We will share him with you then and after this we will ask that  you...  

Please do not ask to hold him or reach your arms out for him to come to you.  If you would like to give him something, give it to either Jason or myself and we will give it to him.  I will enjoy visits from people and will look forward to them.  However, please limit them to short visits and remember the adjustments being made for our family are many.  Heath is adjusting to a new language, people, time, and well just about everything.  My other two will be adjusting to sharing their mom some more and having a new sibling.  Jason and I will be adjusting to making these adjustments smooth for our family :)  and probably on not much sleep!  

And if something does occur and we have to tell you to back off, please know I am not doing this ever to hurt your feelings.  While I care about your feelings, I care more for what is best for our family at this time.  

Thank you for understanding or at least trying to understand how important this is.  It is a hard subject because I know only those who have walked this journey understand it.  They are all reading this shaking their heads up and down while others of you might be looking at the screen and thinking we are extreme.  And that's okay, just know we are extremely in love with our new son!

We love you all and ask that you continue to pray for us and for Heath to have a beautiful and healthy attachment!