The day our world stopped...

I want to share with you all some stuff we have trudged through here lately...I have had a few people asking about it even though we have tried to keep it quiet, people still share things...

Hollynn went to her 3 year old appointment the first part of November.  Her blood work came back that she was anemic and she was put on an iron supplement.  We went back the Monday after Christmas to have her re-tested.  She was still anemic.  So her fantastic (we adore their ped.) pediatrician drew blood for more extensive work.  That Friday we were out eating when my phone rang at 8:30 p.m., it was their Dr.  He told me he was going over labs and her iron was actually fine but she was still anemic.  He wanted her in the office first thing Mon. morning and we assumed she was bleeding internally somewhere and losing blood.  Needless to say, I was quite worried.

At 7:15 the next morning my phone rang.  I of course, was still in bed :) but it was her Dr. and I shot straight up.  He said he had been up through the night and had gone over and over her blood work and could not make sense of it.  He wanted her in the office first thing that morning and he had a church event but was calling a colleague to tell them we were on our way.  At this point I had come downstairs, gotten my sister and was sitting on the couch.  When I asked him what was he thinking, I don't remember anything else except the word "leukemia".  My heart stopped.  My breath caught in my throat and I began to cry.  Dr. P. started praying right there on the phone for us, for Hollynn, for the Dr. we would be seeing.  When we hung up the phone I started sobbing.  My body shook.  I sobbed so hard that Will jumped out of bed and ran to the couch and my Dad came running from his room.  My sister ran upstairs to get Jason and tell him what was going on.  There was not a single dry eye in this house that morning.  Not one.  I snapped back too a little when my Dad said, "Go upstairs and wake her up, get her ready, and we'll go."  Casey announced that she was calling into work.  Will would keep the boys.  I had to call and tell my Meemaw.  Meemaw.  My best friend, you guys know how I feel about her, how could I call her and tell her that we were rushing to the dr. to find out if her sweet girl had cancer.  I told Dad and Casey that we would take her, there was no point in all of us going since they were going to be running tests and we would probably just do a lot of sitting.

I got off the couch and made my way back upstairs.  I looked in our bed but Jason was not there.  When I went to Hollynn's bed, he was curled up beside her with tears streaming down his cheeks.  She was laying there half awake but smiling.  Oh baby girl, how could this be?  Surely not.

We arrived at the office and they quickly eliminated internal bleeding (which would have actually been a good thing) and moved on to blood work.  We were told that if her tests varied a lot from that Monday with whatever it was, treatment would start immediately.  As if I hadn't already been shaken to the core.  We talked for a while with the dr. and knew we were looking at 3 things.  1. Cancer (lymphoma or leukemia) 2. Blood Disorder where her body was eating her blood cells. 3. A genetic blood disorder which we were asked several times about, always answering no.

After the blood work was drawn it had to be sent off, so we made our way back home.  That day, we all moved at a snails pace.  I cried at any moment, I think we all could have.  I couldn't even carry on a conversation.  Dr. P. called to check on us that afternoon and Sunday.  Those were two long days.  Very long.  Finally on Tuesday we got a call, a WONDERFUL call, No cancer!  Two fantastic words!  I cried again.

We still didn't know what we were dealing with and were waiting on more of the blood work.  Later in the week we received another call, alpha thalassemia.  Alpha what?  It's a genetic blood disorder that could skip many generations and could go back several hundreds of years ago.  And probably there would be no treatment for her.  More tears.  We would go to a hemoglobin expert at Vanderbilt's Children's Hospital.

And that is where we spend 1/2 of the day yesterday.  She confirmed what Dr. P said.  Ran all of the tests again (I am sure Hollynn will have dr. phobia with all of the pokes and needles she has had lately).  There was so much Dr. talk but she needs her iron reserved raised even though her iron tests regular, there was something in her cells, anyways, she is on a prescription for that for 2 months.  We will go back and be re-tested then and hopefully that will be it.  She is the second type of alpha thalassemia which means when she gets married and has children her husband will need to be tested to see if he is a carrier because there could be big problems for their child if he is.  She said the child would have lots of blood transfusions and problems and in most cases they do not survive.  So he will def. be being tested!  Other than that, Hollynn should live a normal life with some small, different red blood cells.

Will you just praise the Lord with me for a moment?  Because our little girl is healthy, she is not sick, what they didn't think she had at all, she did.  And a genetic blood disorder is just great in my eyes with what we were looking at.  While I am so so so full of joy over how all of this turned out, I am so broken for those who don't get the news we received.  Because what is different from us and the other family that didn't receive good news?  Nothing.  Yesterday we were at the cancer center and as we went into the room where those children were receiving chemo, my heart sank.  I looked at the mom's sitting next to their babies.  The siblings in there watching t.v., the volunteers doing science experiments.  Horrible.  Awful.  Can I be blunt?  It just sucked.  So while I praise God for our great news, I also plead for Him to help.  Stop this stuff.  Comfort.  Strengthen.  Heal.  Bring Joy.  Only He can.  So while you praise with me, will you also plead with me?  Cancer Sucks!